The Futurism Newsletter


 

The Future Is Some Far-Off Planet Going BWAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

18 APRIL 2022

TOP STORY

Planets Scream as They’re Ripped Apart, Scientists Say

Planets: They’re just like us! Or so goes the findings of an accidentally-poignant study, which suggest that some planets may emit a scream-like blast of cosmic radio waves as they crumble out of existence.

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HEADLINES FROM TODAY

ONEScientists Say They Partially Destroyed Tumors With Sound

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TWORussia Is About to Activate a Robot Arm on the Exterior of the Space Station

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THREENASA’s Tests of Its Mega Moon Rocket Aren’t Not Going Particularly Well

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OF INTEREST

Porn Star “Punishes” Man for Buying NFTs

Crypto fiends have been bad, bad boys — and one porn star is finally putting them in their place. In an essay for The Daily Beast, adult film actor Cherie DeVille describes why she decided to drop a video of her dominating a man out of buying non-fungible tokens (NFTs) and cryptocurrency, encouraging him instead to invest in more stable financial instruments.

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NEWS IN QUOTES

“ Elon said this would happen and it didn’t happen! He’s a liar and a fool! 

— Elon Musk, on Elon Musk

FROM THE DEPT. OF STUFF TO SPEND MONEY ON

Yes, $65 Can Buy You an Actual Invisibility Shield on Kickstarter

Technology has made a lot of science fiction into a reality, but the Invisibility Shield Company (yeah, we know) claims to have made 25 “fully functional” invisibility shields, and has launched a Kickstarter campaign to create more. Prices start at $65.13 for a small size (12.2 inches tall x 8.27 inches wide) and $389 for a full size (37.4 inches tall x 25.59 inches wide).

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